Like many other people today I have a few jobs in my life. One being real estate and the other, teaching voice lessons at Coastal Carolina University, as well as, private lessons here in the Southport area. I have been teaching now for two years. I am constantly looking for different ways to talk to my students, AKA communicate in a more concise clear manner.
I started reading this book my colleague gave me, “Beautiful Singing “mind warp” moments.” Now you may be wondering, “I’m not a singer why would this be interesting to me?” Well, the first part of this book talks about how to be an effective teacher and communicator, and if you think about it, we are all teachers and all communicators in some capacity. The most interesting chapter I found was the chapter on Paradox. In this chapter the author Clayne W. Robison explores the Paradoxes that exist in all relationships. For instance, Truth and Love. He poses the question: can you have one without the other? He then explores how you need the balance of both to have a truly healthy relationship. If you truly love someone and they love you in return, you should be able to tell them hard truths through your love. You may be asking what does this have to do with singing or teaching?
Singing and teaching private lessons can be a very personal experience especially when you are working with young adults. How do you create mutual trust and respect? I think you must create the balance in the paradox of truth and kindness. How do you do this? I have found in the past couple of weeks of exploring this, if you put your balanced paradox self out to other people you are more likely to receive it back. Let your students know you are having a bad day. To the best of your ability, don’t let that affect your teaching, but say it out loud. If you don’t communicate this to your student, and it does affect your teaching, the student may take on the mood or think that they have done something wrong when, in fact, they have done nothing wrong. This is a lack of truth in the relationship that may result in lack of truth from your student. If you don’t have truth, how are you supposed to be truly kind to someone? As I read this book, I found I could apply all of these methods not only to my teaching, but to all of my relationships.
The second half of the book is about vocal science, and I won’t bore you with those details. But, if you are scientifically inclined at all, you might find it interesting. How many Paradoxes can you find? Food for thought.
The Dooley Group